too much work!

i saw my work list, and i saw 7 things that i never end up drooling on it. at least sleeping on my notebook for it. i had to choose things a lot of thing, i even believe that life is really about the choices you make. but sometimes i cannot choose things, even in my list of work to be done. my -almost freak- relationship with peoples, guys, friends. i'm glad i still had the nerve not to burst my head into pieces.

it's like getting laid too much lately. too intoxicating.

some coincidence and coalition

it's just like some magnolia movie scene, or even memento, l'appartement or whatever. it's like wishing i can left everything and watch jiffest in jakarta in the beginning of december. it's just something that i never intend too, like you say, we start from some ordinary things, nothing special. at all. very very all.

and i did caught you nearly so many times that you fall in the bottomless pit call the L damn word. i did said it this morning in the middle of all the sweat as you admit everything that we know we are not suppose to. it's something that never intended to end up like this.

i just don't know how to deal with you after hours pass from this early morning moment. it's like looking to a lot of moment, trying to make a chronological meaning of this meetings. i wish i could understand it like i understand how u feel even through your writings. i realized also that things began before me and start after i was there. you are a good damn writer and i really care about you as i said it loudly now.

it's soo tender that it even without realizing it, you're slowly reaching my heart. and i'm not meaning it as something so bad. it's just, things happens.

things do happens and i never had the moment to breath or thinking of preparing.

no shit.

just rain everyday!

it's so cold outside. vero slept over last nite at my house. we spent time before that at lorkali lounge. we had a really long talk. about things.

on loyalty and disloyalty. on some impossible marriage. on concept strange for us. of our time and generation. on yeah of course: guys beside work.

i just have one big question: how come u expect loyalty when there's no guarantee and full of disloyalty (speaking on K and me absurd relationship)?

we continue it at my house until i dunno wat hour.

i spent this afternoon with abi at bonbin. K was there, watching me somehow i felt. i miss him already. FARK! but then he left. abi and i went to snap cafe. talk and talk. meet my lovely jenggot there. kangen, lama ga ketemu dan mabuk2an. anyway, i was tired and spend this rest of nite in front of the computer, chatting with bessy. i might go to rembang. dunno when though.

it's not a game over

it's so not over. i'm feeling like i'm in the middle of a game that i already play or i know how to. it's just an early morning wake up, a bottle of the orangtua wine, no breakfast and three orgasm.

i can't barely walk straight. damn K for everything. but i love him i almost cried my eyes out.

grrrr

damn laptop, i lost my second typed post.

spend some time to download and read stuff to lost my bad mood to retype my recapping week. still damn. where should i start now?

the second day in jakarta i spend shopping with my mom. the third day gone to alex n lisa's place in menteng. got some grass that afternoon, me and alex only, coz lisa went for a badminton session. while waiting for lisa and our dinner to come (well we wish, coz we're teribbly hungry), we spent reading and grassing. i played with the three dogs, another new one huskies mixed with the local kampung dog, cilok, blup's son. it had the look like my mixed dog at home, rico.

on/off due date was set later next january, so alex can relax a little but a bit pissed too. coz he was working this piece for on/off and have nightmares for two nights: me!

lisa came without the dinner, me and alex beg to go to kota to get some dinner. it was already nearly 11 pm. went to kota and eat at a small chinese restaurant in one of its alley. it was pretty good accept with the nearly non colored tea.

we went to bb's then, me and alex watch reggae jamming session in the second floor. i spend a glass of beer and a couple of samsoe. it was pretty good but no one compare to pengky's golden voice when it comes to reggae. damn, i miss that guy, voice so lovely in front of me. i can die to hear it.

we went home at 2 am, watch a dvd with nicole kidman and a weird ending, forgot the title then throw myself at tina's bed.


agung called the next morning, just arriving from boston. i can't remember what time coz i was too sleepy. wake up at 11 am, then took a shower and went to his place. sleep a while there coz jakarta was too hot that day. then we are off to offstream. everyone was there, including idaman's tale lady with the tea bottle in her boops. damn man, they were huge! she actually exist!

tedjo babyyyy was there, so the beer tea ala yogya was specially made for us. and yeah grass again, man why are they everywhere? so we spend time there laughing our ass off and get hungry. it's really hard to go out after that, because people there are like parasite not letting anyone to go home. i was thinking to spend the takbiran night in jakarta, but my father sms drop it off coz we had to go to lampung the next morning.

we were out from offstream, after the car wheel of boni's was change. so yeah, it was a hard try. she drop us near the bakoelkoeffie cikini, but it was close so we (me, cecil n agung) went to tim. eat there and talk until 9 pm. we went home after that. i still miss agung, but he had to go to next morning to yogya, n not coming back until the 20th, which by that date i will be heading to yogya. poor him for his jetlag, he nearly sleep off in the taxi.

i spent three days in lampung, mostly in kalianda where my mom works part time, which we have our own cottage and private beach in the hatchery place. so yeah, pretty cool huh? lampung was allrite i guess, but i never thought that the trans-sumatra road will be that smallll! and the ride was bumpy shit, so yeah it kinda put me off for travelling again. i bought a lot of lampung coffe to bring to yogya. negro already sms me if he can trade it with the tulung agung coffe.

i arrived from lampung yesterday afternoon, i was suppose to go to bandung this afternoon. but i'm not in the mood for it, eventhough i have to see tarlen. just terribly tired somehow, even to go to jakarta. looking at the traffic and the news already put me off from everything. i'm just wondering now why the metro's tv presenter are always pretty, smart, bold and yeah have a weird name but they are cool i guess.

i wanted to put some pic up, but yeah, dunno if i can, coz the laptop a bit sucky now.

k called me this afternoon, making me to run like a devil coz i left my mobile at the second floor. i was happy that he called. missed him much. miss my boyfriend too, he's getting cute lately over the phone. yeah i know, i just can't make up my mind still, i just want it ALLL!! mwakaakkak!

i'm a bit wondering about bill, he's seem a bit depress but somehow i just don't want to go for it right now. i got a lot of things in my head going on and it seems the only remedy is going to yogya. missed a lot of things.

bought a black top that i might wear for tina n hestu's wedding in the 2oth (man i have to rushed from the airport), and also a nice black leather belt. haven't wear belt for ages, used to wear them like what year???! used to hate them too, but dunno i like them again now. got a creambath too yesterday afternoon, it was GOOD!!! i wish i can take the mas-mas home with me to massage me, honestly just to massageXD

i don't know what to do tommorow. i think i want to go to jakarta somehow, looks for some books, if i can be bother though.

got a new converse sneakers and some pairs of undies, cost me some fortune. haven't seen alex yet, maybe in a couple hours. miss lisa and their huskies. agung is back tomorrow from boston, can't wait to get some coffe with him in bakoelkoeffie.

might go to lampung at the idul fitri day. alia is sick so she's at home. a bit confused on what am i going to do and visit all these people while i'm here. tarlen told me to go to bandung tuh.

doh, kemana dulu ya?

i survive those months

yeah, it's been a while of a reality lost. but yeah, i'm okay, things okay, everything pretty okay. life been a hell but it's not too hot, things been put in place again. a bit lazy with attending classes. pretty busy with myself and gathering my life together again.

k sms me this early morning a few hours before i catch the plane to jakarta and a few hours after i had my period. cannot say anything accept: ARRGGGHHHHH!!!

anyway, jakarta was hell jammed this later afternoon. the flight okay, the bus journey was fucking hell jammed. but i'm in my house again, putting more rupiahs to the internet bills and a few minutes putting more rupiahs for a long distance call to my still current boyfriend - partner - whatever.

its raining outside, here in bogor, but yeah its okay its happen everyday here. i only hate one thing about rain, when i'm in yogyakarta on my motorcyle, that's just suck.

i'm going to jakarta in five hours, shopping with my mom, hehe:D but i have to see alex and yeah finish some job still left untouched...