seeking greener grass

part of my history

Sunday, November 27, 2005

berapa banyak hal telah membuatmu merasa dadamu akan meledak dan air matamu akan menitik. namun hal itu tidak terjadi, sehingga buncahan akan kepingan-kepingan peristiwa mengalir jauh di atas ingatanmu yang tak kenal waktu.

berapa potongan film. berapa rasa yang dipendam. berapa lama bekasan-bekasan itu akan tetap menorehmu begitu dalam.

kau ingin membuang beban rasa di pundakmu sekali waktu, namun kau tetap tak sanggup.

why are you always in some verge of crying?

i wish i knew. i wish.

Friday, November 25, 2005

all about my mother

my memories flashes in everything i look. on the road i took. it's all about my mother. which worries me. with makes me nervous. and i have to be honest to her, after 22 years, i don't think i've been enough. knowing her.

my current situation

thx 2 colorquiz.com


Your Existing Situation
Works well in cooperation with others. Needs a personal life of mutual understanding and freedom from discord.

Your Stress Sources
The tenacity and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties has become weakened. Feels overtaxed, worn out, and getting nowhere, but continues to stand her ground. She feels this adverse situation as an actual tangible pressure which is intolerable to her and from which she wants to escape, but she feels unable to make the necessary decision.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Clings to her belief that her hopes and ideas are realistic, but needs encouragement and reassurance. Applies very exacting standards to her choice of a partner and wants guarantees against loss or disappointment.
Circumstances force her to compromise and to forgo some pleasures for the time being. Capable of achieving physical satisfaction from sexual activity.

Your Desired Objective
Longs for sensitive and sympathetic understanding and wants to protect herself against argument, conflict, or any exhausting stresses.

Your Actual Problem
The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond her capabilities, or reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. She attempts to escape into a substitute world in which things are more nearly as she desires them to be.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

"A person isn't born with the intelligence to be with someone especial, you learn it, and you fail in the path of life, but you don't have to give up the chance to love." - Gael Garcia Bernal