seek sick six

i got some herpes chicken pox dots in my back for this bloody week, but i'm okay now. nothing that serious. really, i was just sick physically, a bit panicking mentally because my mom is going to visit me tomorrow afternoon and spending 2 days at my house and 3 days in yogyakarta. she got this seminar happening on saturday. and i wanna watch GIE, yes, the movie in these few days along with some party (or launching of some art presentation?) by gentur invitation. irwan ahmett show i presume.

i got a new computer table (finally), cleaning the library but not the house yet. argh. i hate kicking out 2 guys out of house for 2 days just for my mom sake. dunno-lah.

by sunday morning i'll be in jakarta, for ON/OFF launch in jakarta at Aksara Bookstore. i wanna see some peeps, well not some, but like EVERYONE.

i'm starting my writing project again by tonite, upps, nearly forget the deadline for the porn stories anthology. ay, nothing dirty happening in my mind this last few days accept watching some marlboro girl scandal mobile video. the scream, uh yeah, the urge to attack someone in bed tonite.

oh well, it's 21.13, better pick him up soon. hungry too. i'm in a bloody monetery crisis that force me to eat instant noddles and a glass of milk for a balance breakfast.

tentang beribu rasa cemas

kamu selalu benci berurusan dengan birokrasi. apalagi tentara. yang kau patahkan tulang bahunya enam bulan yang lalu. dimana kau masih pusing membayar kontrakanmu yang belum juga lunas. kau dengan pasti berkata anjing! bayaranmu yang juga masih pas-pasan. kamu selalu cemas, tidak mampu bertahan di depan komputer berjam-jam seperti yang kau harapkan untuk menghasilkan lebih banyak tulisan dengan lebih cerdas. atau terlalu kelelahan karena pulang terlalu malam. kau terdampar atau lebih tepat melarikan dengan banyak bentuk visual di otakmu yang bertumpukan menjadi mimpi buruk yang sulit kau cerna. kau terbangun di pagi yang jatuh dipenuhi dengan rutinitas kampus yang harus kau lakukan dengan menyebalkan. kau selalu ingin liburan. ke tempat-tempat yang jauh. pergi dan meninggalkan banyak hal tanpa penyesalan yang berlebihan. kau selalu cemas akan segala sesuatu yang menimpamu. baik atau buruk. seringkali kau pun menjadi bagian dari orang-orang sedih. yang selalu menjadi inspirasimu akan drama. dan kau tertawa, mentertawakan semua bagian duniamu dengan satir dan setengah terpaksa.

apa kamu baik-baik saja?

the rented house

so yeah, after the terrible complaint and waste energy of the last three months, bitter memories of the three months before, we decided to rent the house again. with the same prices and two times payments. somehow we can afford it by scabbing things from our savings and things. and we feel better now, having a house that start to feel more homie than ever before.

i started to arrange things more seriously, cleaning, cooking stuff around the house. eventhough i'm still disturb with the existence of television in the middle of the house. so we had to make a deal when to turn it on and not.

alfi was back from surabaya, but he's okay now i guess. so far, we're quiet happy living together in the banteng house, third alley number five. somehow the last few days we had some friends coming over. eka, anas and onie was staying for tea and coffe on wednesday night. got into interesting and warm conversation with long lost friends. not so lost, just not meet and communicate often. and the next morning, pam and jena was in the living room for breakfast, had some talk around. how i long to go to bandung now and try the new highway:P

i'm trying to sit in front of computer lately, for a long time and write things. write the things i'm suppose to be writing this long twenty two years of life. well, i start going to uni again on monday but the schedule is not that disturbing. i had the routine now to go to the office from 4 - 9.30 pm, and dominating one computer to write, well surfing the net too lately. man, we got wi-fi connection to starting today. but i have to buy the extra tools for that coz my old laptop doesn't have it. and i want a dvd player too in my computer (fuck u pam, don't remind me:P), and and i saw ipod and ishuffle at artha too, i want that too. damn. some books at aksara and kinokuniya that i didn't manage to get when i was in jakarta. and some cooking books, haha, plus an oven:P man, the whole lot isn't it?

anyway, had to go back to my writing again.