aku bukanlah neruda ataupun goenawan mohamad, aku adalah aku. maka bacalah setumpuk tulisan yang kuberikan di hadapanmu kau akan menemukan sekeping cinta yang bisa saja kepingan paling naif yang pernah aku tulis, atau sekeping lagi yang paling sentimentil yang lagi-lagi pernah aku goreskan. karena memang tulisan-tulisan ini merekam semuanya, dari cara mencintaimu yang paling buta, paling lugu, paling menggemaskan, paling gila, paling provokatif yang pernah aku tahu.



lalu sampailah aku pada hari ini, dimana aku berdiri di hadapanmu lagi di antara lembar-lembar tulisanku yang pernah kutulis, yang mungkin berubah atau tetap sama saja. tapi detik ini masih aku tahu bahwa aku masih mencintaimu dengan cara yang tidak pernah aku tahu kelanjutannya.



-sebuah catatan pengantar kecil utk qq

watch a punk concert with sam and wendy yesterday. it was quiet pack, a lot of mohawks in blok-m area, it was stage in bulungan. some of the bands was quiet interesting. cops was around at the end, but nothing happen, no riots like old times said wendy which was good and improving.



sam said he's going to miss me a lot. i'm off to yogyakarta next saturday morning, to stay, to study and to live.

i have been spending a lot of time with agung lately, last thursday i didn't manage to go home but instead "nongkrong" at a small lesehan, in melawai near blok m until 1 am. i love the place, with a pack of cigarretes and a glass of coffe-tubruk, things reminds me with yogyakarta. talk a lot with agung that night, discussing things that have been the most intimate to share, which is fun, funny and outrageous sometimes. then we were off to his office in pejaten, stayed up all nite until 6 am, watch "cinta dalam sepotong roti" by garin nugroho in his computer. he accompany me to the train station in the morning, i was sleepy as i reach bogor that morning but somehow relief with things that i try to get out in my head.



on saturday, i was out all day with him. i need a new glasses coz by this time my minus has raised to 2.5, i'm not suprised though i check my eyes last time was 2 years ago, which was still 1/4. the itc optic counter was pack, mangga dua was pack that day, but i wouldn't regret it i got the best deal ever in buying a glasses:D i got this red small square one, very light and i love it. i pass this women's underwear counter, and guess what there's this cute undies with teddy bear, cutie pig, a few with japanese cartoon characters on it. it's 25,000 rupiah for three. i was tempted to buy it, getting this idea to make one joke someday, but didn't coz the one i wanted has run out, they only got the one that was display which was definetely not my size. agung was laughing his ass off on my back and said i really can't imagine you wearing something like that:P and yes he really can't.



then i talk to him by phone last nite, talking about the kiss that i guess not suppose to happen between us. well we're close friend, buddies, and we accidently did some french kissing which was just "iseng". man, it felt weird, we're close but nah not that way, that was proven! no wonder i felt safe even when i slept the most provocative way near him. coz we're close so close but really really not that way. sometimes human relationship can be very strange, and my relationship with him is one of the odd ones.

pachinko:

love it. though rudy dance in the movie is quiet annoying, but it remind me with someone.

abis nonton amelie bareng si hendro...bagus banget euy filmna! reviewnya besok2 aja deh, pengen nulis komen seven samurainya akira kurosawa juga. tapi ini blogger kapan benernya yah? i mean geocitiesna, abis kudu bayar sih:(

Satu Siang Itu (buat: AR)



satu siang itu

ziarah kau

datang ke kuburku

senyum

sungging di ujung kecupmu

suruh jasadku menyedu

lihat kiniku

saat raga melebur abu

aku masih sanggup meragu



[jakarta, 9/9/02] ----> tglnya salah kali ye:P



ay.



hehehe puisi dari agung

Selamat Ulang Tahun!

-my bro Agung, via sms

Happy Birthday Astrid, panjang umur dan bahagia selalu. Gimana antingnya? Traktir donk!

-Henky, yg ngincer anting gwe dari Febuari, via sms

Hai, is this Dian? Dian Happy Birthday ya, Happy always and lots of fun! God bless u

-Vida, unsure with my mobile number, via sms

Met ultah yan, luv ya

-Alia, crazy like usual, via sms

Traktir-traktir-traktir!!

-Peeps in the office who knows my b'day

DI GURL HAppy BERFDAY!! oh man ur 19!! hahahz gettin old....but its all good....

hope u HAVE a WILD TIme and have lots of fun!! :)

Thankz AGaiN for evrything :)

*Big HUGz*

bloW ouT ur CandLEz......heheh

-Hedy, of course, via icq

Happy b'day dee...mmuuaacchhh, hope u will get such a beautiful life

-Qq, who else, via sms, via phone a secret *hehehe*

bought selingkuh itu indah by agus noor, well it's not always indah....

Forbidden Passion by EKI Production



I watch FP last Thursday at Graha Bakti Budaya, TIM and yes, it was my first time to watch a dance performance again in Indonesia, a modern contemporer dance. A few word to describe it: MAGNIFICENT, WILD, FRESH AND FREE!!! And yes I really adore Sujiwo Tejo voice and his music mixing, he's known as the "Dalang Edan", and yes he's EDAN! This is the first time I watch him live, and wow, such a mystical atmosphere that he can bring to the stage.



I went there with Agung, his future wife, Emmy and Emmy's friend. I took Sam too to watch the performance. Agung had us in the a really good seat (quiet expensive though, Rp 50,000 per seat, the cheaper seat was sold out, well all the seat was sold out).



The dance was in 4 part, I really like the first part, which was mixed by Tejo. The rest of the dance was very attractive indeed, I can feel their spirit of the stage. It's a mixed of dance and teater, which make their performance fresh and often very very funny. There are also some guest star such as the Jamaica vocal groups, man they really can sing. The MC was this chick, i forgot her name, but she's really funny, she can say the things which you can't imagine to come out from a person mouth. One very very "bocor" women i ever ever met and heard.



It started quiet late around 08.30 PM and ended 2 hours later. I was very impressed. I think I wanna ask Aldi (EKI) for Tejo's cassettes.

Oh yeah, I'm turning 19 in a few minutes, man I feel suddenly old.