jan dara

it's a thai name. it's a movie title that i watched this morning. a tale about how a rape can destroy families and persons in it. suprisingly a very touching thai movie. 11 thumbs up. damn tragic and very ironic movies, love all it's character in it. it's like a novel, reminds me of god of small things. it seem like from a thai novel, in the beginning there is some credits: from a novel, viewing not for children or someone with strong religious belief - read something like that, hehehe:D

i watch it after i paid my electricity and water bills. i'm suprised that the waiting line have change in the electricity payment post, usually it's damn crowded and nowhere to sit. now they put it in 4 lockets and many sitting inside the room, not outside window like before. eventhough the room was still very gloomy but at least i'm not pissed off waiting in vain there. i cannot believe i finish it in only 5-10 minutes. usually i spend like 1-2 hours at least waiting for my name to be called up. shit, why don't they do this like supposevely ages ago? i used to think paying electricity bills like that was a waste in life.

i notice the bunga aster in front of my terrace house are blooming. but is it really after they bloom they would die? often i ask myself, what is it about blooming for a while a dies out. it's a remark lasting and die. like the slogan of life fast, die young. it's a too philosophycal question in 4 pm in the afternoon. hella.

i felt like i wanted to cook something. there's something strange i realized when i cook rice. cooking rice is like cooking for everybody, i mean for a lot of people, not just for yourself. it's wasting too much energy to cook just for one meal person. or should i start buying a small electric ricecooker for one portion meal? dunno, i felt selfish if i cook rice only for myself. or is this because i'm just too used to cook for others or many people (especially from my old rented house where i lived with at least 12 people a day). my eating is in disorder lately, i hardly eat rice since last week until this morning. i spent my time eating when i remember, eat only bread, noodles or fruit available in the fridge. cannot be bother to buy food outside with rice or cooking them.

i feel to cook something japanese with rice of course, mmm, chicken teriyaki tonight? i had to buy some chicken breast first and some onion...and i might do it in an hour.

we're waiting for puthut and azhari to come to the office at 8 pm. i might just go home first and cook, eat and then get back here. azhari lost his kampoeng (and all his families of course) in banda aceh, physically they are all hit by the tsunami. only azhari and his older brother kemal pasya survive because both of them were out of town. i heard his kampoeng just vanish. totally. i cannot imagine how and why. it all went down to the sea, with everything, houses, people, i mean every single thing. fitri sms me last night, azhari can talked well but his eyes somehow empty, blank.

icha too arrived in yogya yesterday. she tried to be seeen cheerfull as always, but it looks like she's still have a very sad eyes. i hope they are all in strong spirit. it's very easy for me to say this. it's just too easy for me to say this.